CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
