I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
