I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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