yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
last night I used snow as a chaser
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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