oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
from now on my penis is your penis
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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