Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
