I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
