Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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