I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
