New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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