Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
