Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
