my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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