im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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