I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
