your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
