I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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