And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
