Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
