you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you win again, gameday.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
No subtext here. People are naked.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
