i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
