Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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