Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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