Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
