On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize