You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
