No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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