she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
