I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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