I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Boobs speak an international language.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
