miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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