An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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