Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
