I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
