It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
