I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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