dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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