I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I pour the whiskey from now on
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
