Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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