1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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