Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
