I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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