he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
