so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
