it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
