did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
