Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
birth control should be required to get into college
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
