I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
