The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
