I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
