guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
