I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
