He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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