Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
