Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
