Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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