I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
How external is "for external use only"?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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