oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
