i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
