new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
