If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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