Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
