Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
