guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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