god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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