Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize