You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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