its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize