Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
